How do you tell the difference between intuition and fear?
Recently I went to Arizona because I felt the call. My inner self said Yes to a retreat.
I fell in love with the rocks there. Everywhere you looked you could see these deliciously, rich red rock landscapes.
On the second day, another retreat goer asked a question during a group session:
“How do you tell the difference between intuition and fear?”
Two people had already answered, but I raised my hand regardless with authority. I knew my perspective was helpful, uncommon, and for many people, makes the answer immediately clear. I have spent years developing my intuition and helping others develop theirs.
Here is what I shared:
It is much easier to build your intuition in the small moments of everyday life.
You notice it.
You ask a question. You pause. You listen for the answer. For some people its an internal feeling, for others your body might lean on way for yes, for some its an immediate clarity of preference.
Easy questions to start with:
Should I have waffles for breakfast or a smoothie bowl?
Should I call this person today?
Should I go to the store this afternoon... or not?
Notice, none of these are Should I take this job, Should I marry this person, Should I adopt a dog?
Begin with questions that feel so low stakes, you might not even remember what you chose and what you did 2 weeks from now.
I am in the habit of checking in with my intuition even when I already have plans on my calendar.
For example, one day I had outgrown kids’ clothes in my car. I was ready to drop them off at a consignment shop.
But I had a small thought, pass through my mind, my gut.
Maybe I shouldn’t go today.
I ignored it. I wanted to get this done and empty my trunk.
When I arrived Kids Clothes Closet, there was a sign on the door saying they were closed for the day. Normally they’re open on Mondays, but that day they shut down early.
My intuition knew.
I just hadn’t listened.
But I don’t judge myself when I don’t follow my intuition.
Instead, I pause and get kind with myself. I recognize that my intuition was trying to guide me.
In that case, all I lost was twenty minutes.
Intuition is a true north star.
A compass.
It is okay if you don’t follow it every time.
But when you notice it, listen to it, and follow it, you begin to trust that it is looking out for your best interest.
There was another time when my husband and I were considering putting an offer on a home.
On paper, everything looked perfect. We made an offer and put down escrow money. We started the due diligence and did a house inspection. Two nights later, I woke with the answer on my lips.
“That’s not our house.” My intuition said no. I was clear as a glacier lake on the fact.
We walked away. We lost escrow money. But I wanted the right house, and this one wasn’t it.
Most folks I know try to listen to their intuition only in the BIG moments. If I hadn’t been regularly listening to my intuition, I would have given in to my husband’s desire to purchase this house and move forward. I felt very uncomfortable pulling out of a deal for little more than “my intuition tells me its not our house.”
Yet my husband was accustomed to me operating in this way and he’s seen a lot of good from me following my intuition. Within 5 months we found our house; it had trees that makes it feel like a forest oasis in the middle of a subdivision. Dozens of times we laughed with joy about how we made the right choice with this house and how it was perfect for the stage of life we’re in.
Back at the retreat, I reflected this perspective to the group, this may really bring it home for you, (it did for them). I said:
“If you only call someone every 6 months, when you’re in crisis, what does that tell you? How strong is that relationship?”
Intuition is the same way.
You don’t only ask it for help when life is falling apart.
You build the relationship every day so that it is there for you in the big moments.
Because in those big moments it can be very difficult to tell what is fear, what is anxiety, and what is intuition.
But if you’ve been listening all along, you can recognize it.
One reason people seek me out for coaching is because they want to trust themselves again.
They want clarity.
They want to stop second-guessing.
They want to know whether they’re hearing fear, old conditioning, or genuine inner wisdom.
That’s exactly the work we do together.
If you’ve been looking for support hearing your own inner guidance more clearly, I’d love to help. Click here to book a consult call or package.
Lots of love,
Rachel Strivelli
P.S. Curious what its like to work together? Email me. I can send you recordings of client sessions (which live on my Youtube channel), answer questions via email, and address your thoughts and concerns. No question is too simple and certainly not stupid (I’m a teacher, remember, there are no stupid questions).